Depression in New Dads : Surprisingly Common
Being a new Dad is the greatest thing in the world! Until it isn’t. As more and more dads are being active in their newborn’s childcare, paternal postpartum depression (PPD) is becoming a real issue. In fact, at least 25% of Dads have had it.
Here’s a common scenario. First-time parents are super excited when they find out Mom is pregnant. Dad is active in the doctor’s appointments and preparing for the baby. When the baby comes, it shakes Dad’s life upside down. Baby is crying at all hours of the night, mainly for milk. Dad tries to help with a bottle, but sometimes the baby just wants the boob. Now both parents are sleep-deprived.
Dad goes to work the next day. That evening he comes home, and gives Mom a break from their child. But despite his best intentions, his ability to soothe a screaming baby is minimal. Mom gets frustrated because she feels like she has to do all the work. Dad really wants to help, but their new baby only wants Mom. Tension builds between the new parents.
Dad starts staying longer hours at work, dreading home life. When his coworker invites him out for a drink, he lets his wife know he’s going out to “blow off some steam.” He finds himself drinking more, and avoiding home. Sound familiar?
Within 3 to 6 months after their child is born, 1 in 4 new Dad’s will develop PPD. Research found that almost 3 in 4 will become depressed by the time their child is 5 years old. Symptoms look really different for Dads than they do for Moms with Postpartum Depression. Some Dads fit the typical picture of depression as sullen and feeling worthless, with a lack of interest in sex.
But many depressed Dads become irritable and angry, and they might even engage in risky behaviors like drug abuse, or extra-marital affairs. Other Dads will, for the first time in their lives, experience panic attacks. Most will describe themselves as simply “going through the motions, like a zombie.” The reason for this is partly hormonal.
When babies cry, men release Testosterone. Testosterone is the hormone that makes men fighters. As cavemen, a crying baby might mean a dangerous Sabre-Toothed Tiger was near. So Testosterone caused the men to get angry and fight the bad guys. Nowadays, the release of Testosterone causes some men to get angry when their baby cries. It’s evolution!
Yet in women, a crying baby causes a Prolactin release, the hormone that causes deep bonding and milk production. Completely different outcomes.
Women tend to have a larger social network, and are more likely to seek out help especially with mental health. Men tend to be stoic and tough things out, and certainly don’t ask for help. Dads feel stressed, alone, and will often self-treat by focusing on their careers, drinking, or gambling.
The good news is that as more dads are participating in newborn childcare, they’re also more open-minded to seeking mental health support. A lot of Dads are talking to each other, getting coping strategies, and learning tricks for childrearing. Friday evenings at my local playground are literally all Dads, playing and talking together with their kids.
But sometimes coping strategies fall short for the relief that Dad needs. Fortunately there’s natural remedies that work surprisingly quickly to alleviate this stress, anxiety, and depression. Medicines are tailored to an individual’s experience, as no 2 Dad’s PPD is exactly the same. Therefore, no 2 treatments will be the same either. Sound interesting? Contact me here to set up a free consult!
